there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
