i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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