Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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