I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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