Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
