By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
