Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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