Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
