My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
