I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
