i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
