Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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