Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
