And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
