there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
