Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
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