just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
