ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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