hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
