yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
