she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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