under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
sex in a hospital.. check
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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