Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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