the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
