those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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