Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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