hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
third nipple confirmed
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
