you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
