i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
sex in a hospital.. check
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
