Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
