I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
