Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
