we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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