SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
