I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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