I looked at my own cervix.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
