So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
