I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
