Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
