I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
