He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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