Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
