I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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