yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
