lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
