I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
