Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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