I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
