ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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