I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
