if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
