he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
