grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Even my vagina gasped.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
